I Can't Like Myself If I'm Who You Want Me To Be

MindsetBody Intelligence
Written By Gervase Kolmos

Tired of contorting yourself into a pretzel so you’re liked? Or so you don’t make others feel uncomfortable by being YOU? In this week’s episode (which is our first ever video podcast!), Gervase dives deep into why women have been conditioned to “perform” and prioritize being liked over being authentic. You’ll learn practical tools and a few hard-hitting truth bombs to help you break free from this hypervigilance so you can come home to yourself.

Watch This Episode To Discover:

  • Why you're taught that likeability is the gold standard for women (while men aren't held to the same expectation)

  • What this hypervigilance on everybody else's comfort level is doing to your nervous system

  • The real cost of abandoning yourself to please others (hint: no amount of external validation can make up for the 3 things that you’re losing)

  • Why other people's triggers about you are actually reflections of their OWN discomfort, and have nothing to do with you

  • How to stop making yourself responsible for others' emotions and reclaim your power and agency

  • A practical exercise to transform your relationship with triggers so you can use them as data for self-discovery

  • The intoxicating freedom that comes when you focus on liking yourself rather than being liked by everyone else

Want Gervase’s personal guidance?

If you’d like to become who you’re really meant to be (instead of who they told you to be), you’re invited to join Gervase’s upcoming Inner Knowing Mastermind. During these 8 group calls, you’ll get an embodied sense of who you are, what’s right for you, and how to choose it.

But hurry: the first call starts April 30th - and to keep them intimate, there’s only a limited number of seats left!

Visit GervaseKolmos.com/inner-knowing-mastermind to reserve yours now.

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Mindset, Body Intelligence
I Can't Like Myself If I'm Who You Want Me To Be
Mindset, Body Intelligence

Tired of contorting yourself into a pretzel so you’re liked? Or so you don’t make others feel uncomfortable by being YOU? In this week’s episode (which is our first ever video podcast!), Gervase dives deep into why women have been conditioned to “perform” and prioritize being liked over being authentic. You’ll learn practical tools and a few hard-hitting truth bombs to help you break free from this hypervigilance so you can come home to yourself.

Watch This Episode To Discover:

  • Why you're taught that likeability is the gold standard for women (while men aren't held to the same expectation)

  • What this hypervigilance on everybody else's comfort level is doing to your nervous system

  • The real cost of abandoning yourself to please others (hint: no amount of external validation can make up for the 3 things that you’re losing)

  • Why other people's triggers about you are actually reflections of their OWN discomfort, and have nothing to do with you

  • How to stop making yourself responsible for others' emotions and reclaim your power and agency

  • A practical exercise to transform your relationship with triggers so you can use them as data for self-discovery

  • The intoxicating freedom that comes when you focus on liking yourself rather than being liked by everyone else

Want Gervase’s personal guidance?

If you’d like to become who you’re really meant to be (instead of who they told you to be), you’re invited to join Gervase’s upcoming Inner Knowing Mastermind. During these 8 group calls, you’ll get an embodied sense of who you are, what’s right for you, and how to choose it.

But hurry: the first call starts April 30th - and to keep them intimate, there’s only a limited number of seats left!

Visit GervaseKolmos.com/inner-knowing-mastermind to reserve yours now.

Mindset, Body Intelligence
Mindset, Body Intelligence
What is Inner Knowing, And Why Will It Change Your Life
Mindset, Body Intelligence

The pressure to be more, do more, have more is exhausting, but what if the real problem isn’t you… but the unrealistic expectations you’ve internalized?

In this week’s episode, G unpacks the invisible forces keeping women stuck in a cycle of never enough, and reveals why Inner Knowing is the path to authentic happiness and fulfillment.

She’ll show you how to tune into your own body and soul wisdom, how to identify when you are being led by external pressures, and how to trust your inner compass to make empowered, aligned choices.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

  • What Inner Knowing is and why it’s so important for modern women

  • How to start listening to the body and soul’s signals for easier, more aligned decision making

  • How to break free from external expectations and step into your true essence

  • Practical tips on how to trust intuition in everyday life

  • The power of making decisions based on what feels right, not what looks right

Our souls are literally begging us to pay attention to our inner truth- and how we feel - instead of who we “should” be, how we are “supposed” to act and who they told us we are.

If you’d like to learn how to access your inner knowing - anytime and anywhere - join G in her Inner Knowing Mastermind.

This powerful 8-week experience will unlock the wisdom of your body and soul, and help you create a life aligned with your deepest truth.

Sessions begin April 30th, and spots are limited. Act now and learn how to free yourself from the pressure, perfectionism and “pushing through” of modern life.

It’s time you live a life that lights you up from the inside out.

Go here to enroll and get more details: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/inner-knowing-mastermind

Mindset, Body Intelligence
Mindset, Body Intelligence
You Can’t “Out-think” Your Triggered Body
Mindset, Body Intelligence

Have you ever found yourself completely overwhelmed, frustrated, or stuck in a cycle you can't seem to break? You may feel your body tense up, your mind race, or feel paralyzed by indecision. You know you’re triggered, but you’re not so sure what to do next.

In this episode of The Modern Phoenix, Gervase dives into what it actually takes to move through a trigger, not just from a logical, intellectual place, but through a somatic and soul strategy that allows you to shift your nervous system and return to a state of clarity, empowerment, and ease. This is not your basic “identifying triggers” surface-level episode. This is about integration - learning to recognize, resource, and regulate yourself in real-time so you stop spinning in mental loops and start embodying a new way of being. Listen in as Gervase shares how to move from an activated state into a place of true self-knowing and safety, so that the next time a trigger hits, you’ll know exactly how to navigate it.

If you're tired of being hijacked by your triggers and ready to move through them with ease, grace, and actual solutions, hit play now. And if you’re feeling called to go deeper, Gervase’s Inner Knowing Mastermind is now open! Check out the link below for more info.

https://www.gervasekolmos.com/inner-knowing-mastermind

Mindset, Body Intelligence
Mindset
REPLAY: A Woman Who Has Her Own Back
Mindset

Have you ever felt like something in your life, career, or relationships isn’t working, and instead of questioning the system, you immediately assume you must be the problem? That there’s something wrong with you, that you’re not trying hard enough, that if you were just different, everything would fall into place?

This episode of The Modern Phoenix is a wake-up call. Gervase shares a raw and powerful riff from the vault - straight from a live coaching session. She dives into the deep-rooted conditioning that convinces women to gaslight themselves, unpacks how the systems we exist in, like patriarchy, capitalism, and generational conditioning, keep us in a cycle of self-doubt and self-abandonment. Most importantly, she offers a different perspective: what if your emotions, your overwhelm, your desire for change aren’t personal failures, but signals that the ecosystem around you needs to shift? If you’re ready to reframe your inner dialogue, reclaim your discernment, and trust yourself enough to create the ripple effect that leads to real, systemic change, listen in now.

Mindset
Mental Health, Mindset
It's Not Your Job To Make Other People Happy
Mental Health, Mindset

How often do you hold back, soften your words, or twist yourself into knots just to make sure no one gets upset? Whether it’s navigating a tough conversation with your partner, setting boundaries with your kids, or simply taking time for yourself without guilt, many of us have been conditioned to prioritize other people’s comfort over our own truth. In this episode of The Modern Phoenix, Gervase is sharing a behind-the-scenes look at a live coaching call from The Phoenix Revolution, where she explored the deeply ingrained belief that your peace depends on everyone else being okay.


If you’ve ever found yourself walking on eggshells, silencing your needs, or measuring success by how well you "land the plane" in a tough conversation, this episode is for you. You’ll hear real coaching, real breakthroughs, and a powerful shift in how we approach boundaries, self-trust, and standing in our truth, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Mental Health, Mindset
Gervase Kolmos
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What is Inner Knowing, And Why Will It Change Your Life