Marriage, Reconnection Gervase Kolmos Marriage, Reconnection Gervase Kolmos

How my body helped me make up with my husband

What if the key to breaking through relationship conflicts isn’t in the talking but in the listening… to your body? In this episode, Gervase reveals how shifting from mind-based strategies to somatic and soul approaches (read: dropping out of the mind and into the body) transformed a weeks-long rupture in her marriage into a moment of deep connection and repair. Listen in as she shares her struggles with “circling the drain” with repetitive arguments, how the mind can get in the way of reconciliation, and the power of the body in moving through relationship stalemates. Keep listening for questions you can ask yourself to explore the practice of dropping into your body wisdom, and for a powerful reminder that healing doesn’t always come from trying harder but from thinking differently.

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Breaking the Cycle of Fear-Based Parenting with Wendy Snyder

In this episode, Gervase shines a light on the pervasive belief: “I have to say or do the right thing, or they’ll be mad.” Gervase explores how this belief can not only trap you in cycles of self-doubt, stress, and rumination but also leads to self-abandonment. Join her as she shares insights into how the mind can mask trauma with obsession, frustration, and the relentless need to “get it right.” Keep listening to hear how you find the unique somatic soul strategy you need to bring yourself out of overwhelming obsession and into clarity, self-honoring, and groundedness.

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I have to say the right thing or they’ll be mad

In this episode, Gervase shines a light on the pervasive belief: “I have to say or do the right thing, or they’ll be mad.” Gervase explores how this belief can not only trap you in cycles of self-doubt, stress, and rumination but also leads to self-abandonment. Join her as she shares insights into how the mind can mask trauma with obsession, frustration, and the relentless need to “get it right.” Keep listening to hear how you find the unique somatic soul strategy you need to bring yourself out of overwhelming obsession and into clarity, self-honoring, and groundedness.

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It’s not okay for me to make mistakes

This week, Gervase takes on a limiting belief that surfaces in the lives of many modern women: it’s not okay to be wrong. Learn why this belief leads to fear, power struggles and a lack of authenticity in your life. You’ll discover why ruminating and gaslighting are trauma-based activation responses, and how leaning into body wisdom and the practice of resourcing can give you exactly what you need - the permission to be human, which will power a sense of ease, flow and creativity in your life.

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Meet The Modern Phoenix

Welcome to the Modern Phoenix Podcast! Born from the ashes of the “It’s All Me” podcast, The Modern Phoenix is here to guide, inspire, and empower you to rise into the truest, most powerful version of yourself. In this episode, Gervase shares the heart behind the podcast rebrand, what it means to be a “modern woman,” and how the Phoenix archetype offers a powerful guide for personal evolution.

Keep listening to hear how knowing and choosing yourself despite our social conditioning, trusting your inner wisdom, and making bold choices are key to becoming who you were meant to be.

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Why Permission is Where Healing Begins

On this week’s solo episode of the IAM podcast, Gervases seizes inspiration from a recent client interaction, discussing how patterns of disempowerment have left many women with the sneaky survival strategy of hyper-vigilance around the needs of others, and how permission, resource, and pleasure can allow us to bring more regulated versions of ourselves forward to meet life’s initiations. Listen in for questions that will help you begin to uncover what gives you life, what’s blocking you from your pleasure, and how you can accept permission to wake up and reclaim who you are instead of who you think everyone needs you to be.

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PANDAS: Biggest Lessons Learned One Year Later

This week on the IAM podcast, after a full year of navigating her daughter’s PANDAS diagnosis,Gervase shares her lived experience of integrating relationship, resource, pleasure, and advocacy into her approach to life and her daughter’s health. Listen in as Gervase discusses the importance of finding your “lighthouse” relationship in stressful times, how to choose your truth even when it goes against what everyone else is doing, the cyclical nature of life, and her personal journey with food and her family’s health.

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Break the Burnout Cycle

Join Gervase this week on the It’s All Me podcast as she shares how important the practice of resourcing has become in her life, especially in times of stress, like her recent bout with Covid during “Back to School’ season. Listen in as she shares why resourcing moment to moment is actually a regenerative practice that calms the nervous system, and how it differs from the typical American way of resourcing that leads to resentment and frustration. Keep listening to hear how this widely underestimated way of womaning allows you to be more efficient with your time and energy, so that you can feel better as you live, rather than collapsing in burnout and despair on your way to “better things.”

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Rejection is Redirection

Welcome back to a new season of the It’s All Me podcast! In this solo episode, Gervase shares her personal experiences of integrating a mindset that changed the trajectory of her life, and continues to help her along life’s more recent rejections. Listen in as G redefines rejection as an opportunity for redirection, discusses how we can keep the energy flowing in the face of failure or disappointment, and the power that lies in letting what is misaligned burn in the fire.

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Stop Trying to Fix Yourself; Your Body Has a Better Path

This week on the It’s All Me podcast, Gervase addresses the impact of going beyond the mind when it comes to healing. Listen in as she discusses the patterns that have led to a wave of traumatized nervous systems in modern society, and the risks we take when we focus on the problem rather than resourcing, regulation, and repair. Keep listening as G shares the power of somatic and subconscious healing when it comes to addressing trauma and breaking generational patterns, and the importance of approaching our healing journeys with compassion and curiosity.

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Burning it all down…again and again and again with Jeannine Yoder (Audience favorite)

This week on the It’s All Me podcast, we are bringing back a much-loved episode with Jeannine Yoder (Kochuba). In this episode, Gervase invites us to sit down with fellow AMDA graduate and New York Times Featured Feminine Leadership & Business Coach Jeannine Kochuba. Gervase and Jeannine share their journeys of becoming the women they are today by embracing and healing trauma, letting go of patriarchal and societal beliefs, and awakening to their power and purpose as women and mothers. Listen in and be part of a playful and deep conversation about how you are the woman you’ve been waiting for. That’s right - It’s All You.

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Challenge vs Suffering: Rewiring our Brains for Curiosity and Pleasure

This week on the IAM podcast, Gervase is dropping in with a solo episode on the difference between experiencing life’s challenges and allowing ourselves to sit in a state of suffering. Sharing her thoughts on the internalized systems that make suffering and martyrdom mindsets normal, Gervase also shares her own personal experience of addressing the blueprint of suffering within her own body and nervous system. Listen in as she shares how her training in Focalizing has helped her approach suffering in a more trauma-informed way, how we can make the shift to acknowledge challenges while not overidentifying with them, and the role that pleasure plays in the face of challenging times. Keep listening for an invitation to join G in her upcoming free masterclass on July 17th (link below!)

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How to Access More Pleasure as a High-Performing Woman

On this week’s solo episode of the I AM podcast, Gervase reminds high performing women - like you - of the transformative power of taking time to smell the metaphorical roses, and how it could actually be the most productive move you make in your entire life. Listen in as she shares what healing looks like when we pause and pendulate between the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system, discusses the challenges of slowing down in our speed-incentivized modern world, and how the practice of prioritizing your wellbeing and accessing pleasure can help you feel safe in your body, leading to a more resourced and productive life. If you’re ready to start embracing pleasure and self-discovery, while learning to regulate and resource your nervous system, listen in now! (and check out the upcoming masterclass below!)

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Partnerships the Phoenix Way: How to Cultivate Compassion, Agency, and Pleasure

On this solo episode of the It’s All Me podcast, Gervase shares her personal insights on partnership, co-creating safety and trust within your relationship to ask for what you need, and the importance of resourcing and living a life you love as individuals as well as a couple. She shares her personal journey of navigating a 14-year marriage through smooth sailing and rough waters, how she and her husband practice recognizing and letting go of victim-mentality behavior and taking radical self-responsibility, and how these practices cultivate more passion and pleasure in their relationship. If you’re feeling like you need support in your own relationship journey, keep listening for an invitation to walk the Phoenix path with Gervase, creating resources and safety within your own nervous system and within your relationships.

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The Path to Secure Attachment (Even If You're Anxious) with Carly Turner

This week on the IAM podcast, Gervase sits down with Carly Turner, certified CBT & Somatic Attachment Therapist, as they discuss anxious attachment, how it impacts all areas of life, and Carly’s personal path toward secure attachment. They dive into the possible roots of anxious attachment, and the importance of self-reflection, curiosity, and compassion along the journey to secure attachment. If you’re ready to stop being hijacked by your emotions and lost in the chaotic behavior that follows, listen for practices you can implement outside of triggered moments to cultivate more peace and trust within your system and relationships, as well as ways to ground and resource yourself in moments of triggering uncertainty.

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Joy is a Really Good Reason (Replay)

What is your relationship to joy? For a lot of modern women wearing multiple hats and feeling responsible for all sorts of projects and people, joy is the first thing they take off their list when life starts to feel too chaotic. On this episode of the It’s All Me podcast, Gervase talks about reconnecting to joy without the ‘shoulds’ and shame, why doing the work to get to joy is worth having tough conversations, and how joy can be a great motivator to lead the lives we desire. After all, joy is a really good reason to create and live a life we love.

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Pillow Talk: Reconnecting to Sensuality in Partnership with Sex Therapist Dr. Viviana

This week on the IAM podcast, Gervase reintroduces relationship and sex therapist Dr. Viviana, who shares how she uses her 20 years of experience to help couples cultivate an underlying current of sensuality in their relationships. Gervase and Dr. Viviana discuss ways to create a sexy environment outside of the bedroom, why some of us struggle with activating our sexuality, and how the right dance of sensuality and sexuality can create a long lasting sex life with our partners. Listen in to discover what is lurking behind the typical quantity and quality arguments between couples, Dr. Viviana’s secret to keeping the spark alive, and to hear a permission slip so liberating that it could change your ability to tap into your own current of sensuality.

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The Black Sheep's Journey: Understanding Generational Trauma with Nick Werber

This week on the podcast, Gervase introduces us to her mentor Nick Werber from the Focalizing Institute, as they discuss generational trauma patterns and how they can shape our childhood, adulthood, and even influence parenting practices. Nick shares specifically how family dynamics create outsider roles like the scapegoat and black sheep of the family and why we need these nonconformists. Listen in as Gervase and Nick share their personal experiences with these outsider roles, and how they and others who have been handed these (at times) trauma-fueled titles can utilize the practice of Focalizing to begin move the needle forward, redefine themselves from an internal place without needing external validation, and even make cycle-breaking a bit easier for the next generation.

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Creating Safety, Trust AND Boundaries with Your Kids with Destini Davis and Kiva Schuler

Join G and her guests Destini and Kiva this week on the IAM podcast as they have an in-depth discussion about peaceful parenting and the work necessary to make it a reality. Listen in as they discuss how the trending 'doormat’ version of peaceful parenting being highlighted on social media can actually be harmful to your child, why it’s vital to start with your own behavior and beliefs as a parent, and how you can create a bank of trust and openness with your child by avoiding overparenting. If you’re ready to carve a new path of parenting that creates safety, trust, and opens you and your child up for more resource, love, and true collaboration, listen in now!

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It’s Not Okay, And I’m Okay

In this week’s solo episode of the It’s All Me podcast, Gervase walks us through her lived experience of resourcing and holding space for the duality of being okay in the midst of chaos or stress without shame or blame. Listen in as she talks about acknowledging the range of your experience by feeling your feelings fully without judgment, why you don’t need to skip to the silver lining, and how to notice when you are gaslighting yourself. Keep listening to hear how to create safety within yourself, to resource and heal in community without putting the obligation on someone else, and how her trauma-informed practice of focalizing helps her and her clients heal themselves, their lineages, and honor all felt emotions - even when life is not okay.

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